Take It Sleazy

I'll admit it. I have very thin skin (which is why my wrinkles look much more visible, okay?!) I don't read any of my reviews until someone else has vetted them for meanness. And I have no idea how many books I've sold to date. And I have not been to my Amazon page since July 1, when the book launched. Why, when a lot of writers check their sales and ranking compulsively? In my fantasy world, everyone is buying my book and loving it. And until someone (like my agent or editor) tells me differently, I'm just extending the fantasy. Kind of like Michael Jackson and his face.

So when my cousin Steph emailed me today and let me know she posted a review on Amazon, I told her I was afraid to go and read it - just in case I saw 2,300,457,897,001 next to my ranking. She wrote back to say that my reviews have been great - with the exception of a few people who called me sleazy.

Which, I initially thought, is kind of an awesome review. Sleazy? Moi? I mean, there is a lot of sex in the book - but not really graphic. And so, I screwed someone in my cubicle. Big deal. That's tame compared to shows that detail the lives of swingers (which is seriously, a great show) and the comically slutty yet supremely boring Tia Tequila.

I spent about 5 minutes feeling kind of good about the sleazy moniker. But then I remembered another show I watched last night - the season debut of The Moment of Truth. (Shoot me. That show is a fun time!) This total cyborg looking woman was in the hot seat just burning through all the questions, earning dough and completely torturing her poor boyfriend (who was French, I think) and her even more desperate boss (who found out, that no way, not in hell, did she find the thought of kissing him even mildly exciting. Doh!) She's up to $100K and the question is "Do you sometimes make it difficult for a guy to get you in bed?" She answered, "Yes." Which was false! Which means, she's totally an easy lay.

My husband turned to me and said, "What a sleaze!"

So please, if you'd like to write me an Amazon review, thank you very much. That's really nice of you. And you can call me every name in the book. Just as long as you don't tell me about it!